25, 07, 2016

Challenging Negative Self-Talk: 25 Compliments You Need to Give Yourself


Photo by Sitovea Williams

I have a tendency to be really hard on myself.  Maybe it’s a woman thing. Maybe it’s a person thing, but I tend to be my worst critics, and I know I’m not the only one out there. Usually, it’s in the spirit of wanting to be better. sometimes our desire for perfection can take a negative turn. And in walks the negative self-talk.

On a daily basis, I find myself verbally and emotionally abusing myself for no good reason. I call this emotional and verbal abuse because that’s what it would be called if we dare allowed anyone to say those same things to us. How many times have you said, “How could I be so stupid” or “I never get anything right.” Now think about those words coming out of someone else’s mouth. The way you treat yourself sets the standard for the way others treat you.

Words have power. In the 90s, Japanese scientist Masaru Emoto conducted an experiment that really illustrates the power of positive and negative words.

He poured pure water into vials labeled with negative phrases like “I hate you” or “fear.” After 24 hours, the water was frozen, and no longer crystallized under the microscope: It yielded gray, misshapen clumps instead of beautiful lace-like crystals. In contrast, Emoto placed labels that said things like “I Love You,” or “Peace” on vials of polluted water, and after 24 hours, they produced gleaming, perfectly hexagonal crystals. (from “The Scary Power of Negative Words”)


The bible itself says in Proverbs 23:7,  “For as a man thinks in his heart, so is he…” The things that you say and believe about yourself have a tremendous effect on the person you become. So let’s practice saying and thinking empowering thoughts about ourselves.

Here are 25 compliments to replace the negative self talk.

  1. I matter.
  2. I am doing a great job.
  3. I am a beautiful, loving and caring person, inside and out.
  4. I am an amazing [insert role here]
  5. I am enough
  6. I’m someone’s reason to smile
  7. I’m strong
  8. I have a special purpose that is needed in this world right now
  9. I love you.
  10. I am loved.
  11. I am not a problem, but a solution. God created me for a purpose.
  12. I can change the world
  13. My imperfections are beautiful
  14. I believe in you
  15. I am beautiful just the way I am
  16. I am not a failure, I’m a success
  17.  I am proud of you.
  18. I work hard and I deserve to play hard.
  19. I forgive myself for any mistakes I made and I’ve learned from them to become the amazing woman I am today.
  20. I can make a difference.
  21. I can do it.
  22. I am more powerful than I know.
  23.  I am a visionary and that’s the mark of a great leader.
  24. I’m a winner and I get back up every time I fall.
  25. “We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.”  -Marianne Williamson

*Bonus: “You a bad girl and your friends bad too, you got the swagg sauce you drippin’ swaggu!” – Kanye West


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9 responses to “Challenging Negative Self-Talk: 25 Compliments You Need to Give Yourself”

  1. Cynthia Moore says:

    Thank you for the beautiful words and I accept the challenge

  2. Carla says:

    I love the list! I definitely need to learn to say some of those things for myself more frequently. I saved this post for when I need it! 🙂

    xo, Carla | http://www.glossyc.com/en

  3. These are awesome and so essential to move through fear and self-doubt. Thank you.

  4. Love this Taniqua! We all need to remind ourselves of how amazing, beautiful and great we are.

  5. Jaleesa says:

    Girl I love this post! Compliments my latest blog post, “Why I Started Blogging”. Too often I criticize and beat myself up throughout the day. I need to get into saying these affirmations whenever I’m getting ready to be self-destructive. I NEEDED to read this! Thank you!

    • Taniqua says:

      I was just reading your blog post thinking the same thing! I’m so glad this was helpful. I’ve gotten into the habit of saying positive things to myself everyday.

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